There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
