Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
