When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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