were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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