can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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