Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
