see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
