I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
