You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
