i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
