If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
