big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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