yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
