so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
