I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
