im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
