you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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