i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
