Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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