Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
