ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
