You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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