when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
