at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
