dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
