Ambien. No doubt about it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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