Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
