just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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