I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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