Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
