Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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