SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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