Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
