Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
