Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
