Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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