I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
