yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
