New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
