I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
