Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
