ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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