so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
