great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this boner is exhausting
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
