Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
