every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
