obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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