I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
