Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
