O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
