He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
is it fun? or sober?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
