Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
