Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
