he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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