I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
