Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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