For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
